Its been a while since I posted something meaningful here

I have been really really lazy at blogging for the past few weeks or should say a month or two. So first I apologize to all the fellow bloggers who have been visiting my blog to find not much to read. I have no good excuse for that except that summer is keeping me out of the house and I am just too lazy. Well this blog might as well be a sounding board for my daily dilemmas and issues. What I am thinking about these days is a little too much and that is why I cannot put just one thought ahead and write about it.

Well why am I worried its my blog and I am allowed to write whatever I please and I am going to do so. Excuse me if you are expecting to read something that inspires you or pleases your thoughts. Anyways back to my rambling...lately my dd (dear daughter) has been on a strike for breakfast she does not eat any breakfast whatsoever. I absolutely am against it but unfortunately cannot do anything about it. I have tried making her the breakfast she likes. You name it and I have tried it be it omelet, bread and jam, pancakes, cereal, mungbeans and what not but she does not have it. She starts saying her tummy hurts and I am losing it completely. I have tried forcing her to eat and I mean literally. I have tried timeouts but nothing works. So I talked to her ped and she says forcing her will only lead to food issues and some kids just like to graze throughout the day. So any of you moms who are having such an issue believe me you are not alone atleast there is one more mom with the same problem.
Another thing is that she is constantly getting on my nerves and I feel like my head will explode anytime. I really hate getting up in the morning just because I know its going to be a struggle. I do want to be one of those moms who has it altogether no matter what and I want to be one of those moms who can keep their cool no matter what. But this is all impossible, I am just to darn impatient to be like that. I wish I could have that patience. Here's another thing every night I go to bed with all the guilt that I gave her timeouts and I yelled at her and I am not kidding I do really YELL at her and I don't like it. Every day I also go to bed thinking that I want to be a better person for her but it seems its not happening.
I also want to learn a creative art because I believe it will help me divert my mind from these frustrations. Maybe I will sign up for a class soon. I have thought of taking a painting class or maybe a cake decorating class.
Oh that reminds of one more thing I do need to make up my mind on whether or not I should let her sleep in our room at night when she comes out crying from her room. there are days when I hope she slept thru the night in her room. Well most days. She is turning into this little person that I don't know anything about and it scares me. Does it ever happen to you that she likes her friends' mother more than you. It has happened to me and although I try not to get hurt by that I do get hurt. It aches my heart. I know I know I am throwing a pity party for myself but its my blog and I can do that here.
On the other hand my ds ( dear son) is getting bigger and I am debating whether or not I will be able to go to India on my own with the two of them in tow. He will also get his tiny feet working soon and I am not sure if I will be able to handle the 24 hours of flying with the both of them. It will be an experience that I will surely share with you guys if I do end up going on my own. OOh it almost gives me the goosebumps. I will write about my trip from India to here with my daughter. It was quite an adventure. If I go on about this I won't be able to sleep all night so I have to stop here and say goodnight to the computer. My arm hurts anyways so I better go.

Happy birthday to my dear friend T

Its after midnight and I am so excited for today as it is my friend T's birthday and I want to be the first one to wish her. So here it goes........Happy Birthday dear. I want to get her some nice flowers and buy her some lunch so she can relax and have a good day. Many happy returns of the day my dear friend. She has been such a big help. I want to thank God for letting her be in my life. I am still happy that I met her and I always want to be her friend. She has been there for me on the worst days and has supported me so much. I love her and I hope she has a wonderful day and a wonderful year.

Here's to you T........................H....A...P...P...Y B..I....R....T....H............D....A.....Y !!!!!!!!!

Why does she ask why all the time ??????????

So its been a long time since I posted anything well to me its been a long time. Today I had to write about this. My daughter who is a sweetheart has turned into a why-bug. Really I mean it and I thought it is a phase and will go away soon but nope the why-bug has bit her and she keeps asking me why for everything and it gets to you after a certain amount of WHYs. if she wants something that she is not supposed to have she will ask why and when I answer her with the reasoning then she asks me why ?? when I say don't keep asking why she asks me why. I am really getting tired and trying to find an answer for this. Do any of you know the remedy for a why-bug bite >>?? if you have the answer to this one I'd really appreciate the solution. I know, I know that all the parenting magazines and books I read tell me that you should never stop your kids from asking questions but tell me does it not get to you ??? I am still trying to find the best way to treat this....maybe tomorrow she will wake up with a smile and say no why's today mom :) oh that will be music to my ears.

I am disappointed in myself today :(

Well I was waiting for this day for so long and it came and it went and I missed the most important thing. I had purchased a concert ticket for my husband as a father's day treat and the concert was tonight. I have become so forgetful these days that I forgot to remind him today. I am feeling terribly angry at myself for being so careless. I hate wasting money and that is what I did tonight. I wish I could do better next time. I am so angry with myself that I cannot do anything about it. I am trying to find a way to make this night better but its not and I am not liking it. I hope I feel better tomorrow.

Fathers and daughters

Today I was thinking about my dad as I think about him everyday and thought that I have to meet him right away. But unfortunately I cannot do that with the geographical distance but in my spirits I will always be close to him and he will be always close to me. He is the most generous and kind hearted person I have ever met. He has taught me so many things well most of the things I know. He is the best for me and my siblings and I am sure we all share that feeling. He has taught me a few of the following things about life :

1. Kindness and goodwill never go unrecognized and you have to be kind to people.
2. You have to give back to society whenever you can in whatever way you can.
3. You have to be more tolerant towards people who differ from you.
4. Take care of your family and do the best you can to provide them the best.
5. Take care of your parents.
6. Be ready to help out whenever there is need.
7. Share the knowledge that you have.
8. Keep a diary with good quotes about life and learning.
9. Write things down you learn them better that way.
10. Persistence is the key to success.
11. Aim high. Because you can miss the target if you aim high but aiming low is not an option.
12. Anything is possible if you put your mind to it.
13. You can become a doctor even with no money for school if you study hard.
14. Where there is a will there will be a way.
15. Love your family.
16. Don't sweat the small stuff.
17. Be open to other opinions and compromise when needed.
18. Welcome your guests with open arms and make them feel at home.
19. Make good friends and do your best to keep them.

These are just a few things that he has taught me. He is the best son for his parents and will always be the best father for all of us. He still worries about me after all these years. He still loves me more and more. He is my hero. He never made us feel that we did not have things. He is the one who taught me to love and appreciate good music. I still remember those days as a child when he used to turn our little tape recorder on and put cassettes that he had recorded of his favorite collection of songs and we would listen to it lying on the floor on weekends and afternoons. We still do that when we meet. That is something I want to teach my kids too. He has taught me to be adventurous. He has the most open hearted laughter that I have ever heard. He takes care of us and never asks for anything in return. I love you Pappa. I miss you and wish you were here with me and not so far away.

A Dad of a different kind :
My husband. When I got married I did not know about his qualities as a dad. Actually to tell you the truth I did not know much about him as a person too. It all happened too fast. But anyways what I do know is that he is the best dad for my kids. To see him with my kids is an absolute pleasure. He is a loving father to both of them. I would not be the mother that I am without him. There are days when I thank God for him being the patient guy that he is. When our daughter was born he had decided to change the way the world will work 20 years from then. He said that by that time guys will be getting married to girls and will be staying at the girls' parents' house instead of the other way around ... I was smiling and thinking how much he loves his daughter. Now we have a son and he loves him as much. He is there to play with them and teach them how to be a good person and still be strong enough to fight for what is right. He is teaching them to be strong-willed and respectful. He is teaching them patience and he makes time for them. To my daughter he is a can-do anything guy and knows everything about everything.
I love to see them both interact and I love to listen in their conversations about things and life. She is still not old enough to understand most of it but he still talks to her. I am glad that he was there when she smiled and cried and had her tantrums and loved her the best he could. I am glad he is a part of our lives . Happy father's day S.

Someone I met ... who I wish I had met earlier....

Two weeks ago on a Wednesday morning my friend T called me asking if I would like to go to a Mommy to Mommy group at her church that meets every Wednesday. Usually I am not very comfortable in these groups because I feel like I am being judged all the time although that was my misconception the moment I entered this room full of moms. My friend who also happens to be my really really awesome neighbor, is so kind and generous. there were about 8 moms with their kids some babies and some toddlers. The toddlers were playing in the playroom next to our room and the babies were either on the floor in their bouncers or swing or in mom's lap doing what they do best (nursing of course :)) then I saw this lady who had a writing pad and a pen in her hand and she was sitting on the floor so the first impression was wow this lady who offers advice to all these moms is so humble. She welcomed me and T with a smile and all the moms took turns discussing mommy issues and baby issues and she was offering advice on all these various topics. Then I asked her a few questions and guess what I was so happy I attended this group meeting because the absentminded person that I am I found out that I was using my infant carseat for my son who had outgrown it. So it was like a wake up call to get a new one which by the way I will be getting tomorrow. The person who was giving us all the valuable advice was the founder of this website Kay Green. You can read about her here and you will know what a good and noble person she is. Very few people are like her these days. I am so glad I met her. Hats off to her and thanks T for taking me to this wonderful informative class with you.

THE LESSON : Don't make assumptions about Mommy groups they can be quite helpful when you find the right one.

Gratitude journal entry : Thanks to all the moms in that group who made me feel comfortable and welcome and thanks T and Kay for helping me out.

Nice bag at the Red Hot shop at Target

While surfing the internet tonight I found this really cool looking bag and thought of posting a photo that I borrowed from their website. So very summery and useful too. I wish they would sell it at their stores too.