I have been really really lazy at blogging for the past few weeks or should say a month or two. So first I apologize to all the fellow bloggers who have been visiting my blog to find not much to read. I have no good excuse for that except that summer is keeping me out of the house and I am just too lazy. Well this blog might as well be a sounding board for my daily dilemmas and issues. What I am thinking about these days is a little too much and that is why I cannot put just one thought ahead and write about it.
Well why am I worried its my blog and I am allowed to write whatever I please and I am going to do so. Excuse me if you are expecting to read something that inspires you or pleases your thoughts. Anyways back to my rambling...lately my dd (dear daughter) has been on a strike for breakfast she does not eat any breakfast whatsoever. I absolutely am against it but unfortunately cannot do anything about it. I have tried making her the breakfast she likes. You name it and I have tried it be it omelet, bread and jam, pancakes, cereal, mungbeans and what not but she does not have it. She starts saying her tummy hurts and I am losing it completely. I have tried forcing her to eat and I mean literally. I have tried timeouts but nothing works. So I talked to her ped and she says forcing her will only lead to food issues and some kids just like to graze throughout the day. So any of you moms who are having such an issue believe me you are not alone atleast there is one more mom with the same problem.
Another thing is that she is constantly getting on my nerves and I feel like my head will explode anytime. I really hate getting up in the morning just because I know its going to be a struggle. I do want to be one of those moms who has it altogether no matter what and I want to be one of those moms who can keep their cool no matter what. But this is all impossible, I am just to darn impatient to be like that. I wish I could have that patience. Here's another thing every night I go to bed with all the guilt that I gave her timeouts and I yelled at her and I am not kidding I do really YELL at her and I don't like it. Every day I also go to bed thinking that I want to be a better person for her but it seems its not happening.
I also want to learn a creative art because I believe it will help me divert my mind from these frustrations. Maybe I will sign up for a class soon. I have thought of taking a painting class or maybe a cake decorating class.
Oh that reminds of one more thing I do need to make up my mind on whether or not I should let her sleep in our room at night when she comes out crying from her room. there are days when I hope she slept thru the night in her room. Well most days. She is turning into this little person that I don't know anything about and it scares me. Does it ever happen to you that she likes her friends' mother more than you. It has happened to me and although I try not to get hurt by that I do get hurt. It aches my heart. I know I know I am throwing a pity party for myself but its my blog and I can do that here.
On the other hand my ds ( dear son) is getting bigger and I am debating whether or not I will be able to go to India on my own with the two of them in tow. He will also get his tiny feet working soon and I am not sure if I will be able to handle the 24 hours of flying with the both of them. It will be an experience that I will surely share with you guys if I do end up going on my own. OOh it almost gives me the goosebumps. I will write about my trip from India to here with my daughter. It was quite an adventure. If I go on about this I won't be able to sleep all night so I have to stop here and say goodnight to the computer. My arm hurts anyways so I better go.