Saturday, May 12, 2007

Mother's day.....what I am thinking

Just wanted to wish a very happy mother's day to all moms. I wanted to wish My DEAR MOTHER (mummy that is what I call her) a very happy mother's day. I wish I was there with her and after what she has done for me and my siblings I wish every day was a mother's day where we could do something special for her. Being a mother to my kids has not only taught me to appreciate my mother but to thank her every moment for being my mother and bringing me into this world and giving me a life full of happiness and security and so much more. Words can only describe a very very small part of how I feel about you mom. I miss you and love you sooooooooo much. I still feel like that kid who wants to stay close to mom all the time. Wish I could be there. I am glad your other daughter is there with you on mother's day.

Wednesday, May 9, 2007

Today I am feeling tired and frustrated

Today morning the same thing happened as it happens everyday, my dd woke up in a bad mood and as we call her the grouchy ladybug. I am getting so tired of this routine with her, yes it has become a habit of hers and I don't know how to break it. First of all she won't brush her teeth and then she does not eat breakfast (even if I feed her breakfast) . She will take more than an hour to finish it on her own after I repeatedly tell her to eat the next bite. I don't know how i will be able to make it thru all these years and it seems like such a herculean task. To tell you the truth I hate waking up in the morning just because of that. It is almost noon and she still does not ask for food. The emotions going thru my head are anger, guilt, frustration, sorrow....can you have all those at the same time ??????? Meanwhile my ds is a happy kid who wants to be held at times but that is still manageable I really am not looking forward to this whole charade again tomorrow morning. I am feeling so tired I have a headache. I am about to shut the door to my room and never come out of it. I don't think timeouts are working for her and us. She just goes to her time out corner and sings a song and talks to much for letting her think about what she did wrong .....maybe I should ask Supernanny about it....that what do you do when your child sings in their timeout. All the muscles in my body are so tense that it is very painful. I need to get some sleep.

Monday, May 7, 2007

What's cookin........ummm ummm good




Well the foodie in me just woke up and I had to post pictures as well. I made Paneer with bell peppers (subji) and I loved it and so did my daughter. She absolutely loves paneer. The one thing I missed in the subji was the onions well because I did not have any. I love Paneer too. I also made this snack from puff pastry sheets called khari and it is a very good accompaniment to chai ..... Ahhh that just reminded me of my good old days as a girl who was living in a hostel and we used to have khari and chai everyday for our breakfast. There are so many varieties of khari available in India and now here in Indian grocery shops. I used to love this one small place in India that used to sell jeera khari and that was out of this world yummy. We (me and my friends who also were my hostelmates) were regulars and the shop owner knew us very well. He used to save a couple of packages for just us as they used to get sold out the same day. I miss my friends and my home and my school. I am feeling very nostalgic today.

Sunday, May 6, 2007

Can you have aversion to people ????

Today was a rather relaxing day for me. I had to go to a friends' place for lunch and I was so full from eating the yummy food she made that I did not even have room for dinner. I just had chai ( my absolute must have ) in the evening. Here I was with a group of other friends and the thought came across that can you have aversion to people ???? I think I am having it and so I ask that question. It makes me feel horrible that I am that way today which brings me to another question that can you like someone and then just have a dislike for the same person. I feel really bad but i would think of it as a mood swing. I just don't like certain people at certain times. Does that make me a bad person ? ?? Maybe not. I don't know if many people go through the same emotions. I do. I am quite a confused person if I have to define myself. I can be very sure of certain things but most of the times I am confused and I always am in a dilemma. I tend to think toooooooooooo much. That probably irritates people but that is who I am.

I have recently been thinking about writing a few recipes which I know are a hit for us. I have also been thinking about whether or not to take a few photos of things when I cook. I think I am a food addict as well. India is a land of delicious food. Every state has their own cuisine and every cuisine is made in a different way in each and every household but it all boils down to one thing and that is we as Indians love our food and the state that I come from people just absolutely loooooooooooooooooooove food. I have a lot of that inheritance in me. I love cooking and eating and cooking and feeding. I just love it. I cannot believe how much I am in love with food. I just came across this blog and I have fallen in love with it. She has done such an awesome job of writing and photographing. I suggest that she should write her own cookbooks and maybe she is working on them right now. She inspired me to write about my recipes. I don't know if that would be a whole another blog or not. I am grateful for her blog.

I love India and I love Indian food.

Today was a reminder for some reason of how much I am in love with India and the food and the people there. I miss it so much. I get cravings to go there. Apart from being my homeland it is my heart and soul and all. I miss it. I just love the varieties of food that is there in that little country. I love to cook for my family and my friends and even for people I barely know. I think food is a thing that makes people happy. Why not make a stranger happy by giving them something delicious to eat and expect nothing in return. I just absolutely love it when my friends come over and eat the food that I made and go with their tummies and their hearts full of joy and food ofcourse. I think that is the one thing that would connect us all. I have to start writing some of the recipes down that I have tried and have loved and have been loved by others as well. I just am such a people person that it would definitely be hard for me without people around me.